I've been facing a couple of downs in my roller-coaster, drama queen life.
Once again i'm faced with this "you-sure-as-hell-don't-want-to-be-me" attitude.
I was looking at myself in the mirror -
and i thought of this poem.Enjoy.
The Doormat
I looked at the sky,
but all i saw was ceiling.
I looked at the people around me,
only to see ice.
I welcomed the friends and foes,
only to be stepped upon.
trampled and deserted, i lay alone
determined to stand up again.
Building a fence around war torn grounds,
my sweet cottage,shrouded in clouds of pain
I could be useful, if only i could try harder.
I could be loved, if only you allow me to.
I could be more...
But, a doormat, will always be a doormat.
Basically i've been feeling as though everyone has deserted me.
There seems to be this invisible wall between ME and THEM.
Where i come from,like starvation in third world countries,
hypocrisy is rife.Politics can kill you. Even if you're only at school.
Teachers do it to students, students do it to their friends.
Boyfriends hurt their girlfriends, Girlfriends hurt their boyfriends.
Husbands hurt their wives and vice versa.
Siblings hurt each other.
This list goes on.
But what are we doing all these for ?
Does hurting someone to better yourself/cover your ass/save your skin
make you feel better at the end of the night ??
Does it ??? Search yourselves.
I think life is an irony. Take animal activists. - they garner support to save animals.but their morality is questioned: imagine telling a dying man that we can't save you because of animal rights. [i.e. the rights of a lab mouse is greater than yours.]
Another example would be when people hurt you, you build up a wall around yourself to prevent yourself from getting hurt. But everyone complains that you're cold and distant. Isn't it ironic that you've become like one of those who've hurt you in the first place?Worse still, they complain that it's your fault that they can't reach out to you because of your stupid wall.
But i always thought that friends would reach out to you even if it was the universe that seperated them? [much less a meagre wall]
But i guess my friends, that is the irony of life.
Live and let live.
Just my thoughts for the day. No offence to anyone in particular. Thanks Azri for inspiring me to write this article/post.
Right now, the person i need most, isn't next to me. But i really hope that he will understand why i do the things i do. It's difficult to be independent,strong and weak all at the same time. It's too many opposites.People expect me not to "bully" him. But we need to understand that i'm trying to keep it out of school. But i suppose no one understands. I'm glad this term is over, I'm glad i don't have to go to school. But i'm going to miss him for the next one week where i don't get to see him.
I guess, once again no one understands how misunderstood i feel, how left out i feel.
- sArAh - blogged cause she didn't know who to turn to
Once again, this angel shed blood for tears.
